Elise and her dad

To some, it might seem like an outdated tradition, and you don’t actually need to, but you should talk with your lady’s father to secure your relationship with him and avoid any awkwardness when you announce your engagement to the whole fam. After doing it myself, I’ll admit asking another man for his daughter’s hand in marriage can be kind of intimidating.

Make an effort to know your fiancé’s family like they’re your own beforehand. This means escorting her to family gatherings, meals and being there on Christmas morning. If you’re ready to marry her, you probably should be doing this already.

Ask her father before you ask her. When he says yes, tell him to keep it a secret—then he knows he’s not an afterthought.

The setting is also key, which I learned when I proposed to Elise’s dad.

I told him I’d like to take him to lunch, because there was something I wanted to discuss with him. He recommended the New Golden Dragon, 1716 S. State Street, SLC, but the staff was busy moving into a new location. Scrambling to find a different Chinese place nearby, we ended up at Yum Yum Kitchen, 23 E. 2100 South, SLC.

Yum Yum is a nice place if you don’t have much time on your lunch break and need something inexpensive and better than fast food, but it’s not as elegant as some of the other Chinese places around and a poor choice for this sort of lunch meeting. As we got talking, we were interrupted by the waitress several times who looked over my shoulder and said “Ooh, pretty!” when I showed him the ring I bought his daughter. But the gesture alone was enough for her dad. After I told him I wanted to give that ring to his daughter, he told me “welcome to the family” and then about a car he wanted to buy.

When her dad suggests the place, you’ve got to do it. He probably knows what’s coming, and you should be in a relaxed place. But if he doesn’t have a recommendation, here are some other places in to try.

By the way, in case you didn’t already know, the tab is yours!

If her dad’s a classic rocker

The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix make up a good portion of the décor at Gepetto’s, which serves Italian food. It’s not a bar, but feels sort of like one, and the pizza is really good, too. Try the root beer on tap if you have to get back to work after lunch. If not, there’s plenty of brews on tap. Local musicians perform Neil Young, Bob Dylan and Journey songs almost every night. Bring up some of the memorabilia and let him lead the conversation before switching gears.

2340 E. Murray Holladay Road, Holladay, 801-272-1061
facebook.com/Gepettos

If her dad’s a vegetarian

If you think her dad might think your marriage is in the stars—like, literally in the stars—he might frequent the Golden Braid Bookstore attached to Oasis Café, which actually serves one of the best lunches in town. Plenty of vegetarian and vegan options, and I love all the different iced tea flavors and the mushroom Reuben. It’s a good place for talking, especially if you can get on the patio.

151 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-322-0404
oasiscafeslc.com

If her dad is a BBQ man

Barbeque lovers continually praise Pat’s BBQ, and with good reason. Her dad will be in his comfort zone with a pulled pork or chicken sandwich with two sides on his plate for under $10. The restaurant has been featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, so that might be a good conversation starter if he loves Food Network as much as he loves his meat.

155 W. Commonwealth Avenue, SLC
patsbbq.com

If her dad is into sports

Utah has nine Iggy’s Sports Grill locations, and the local chain has just about everything her dad might order, from burgers to pasta. And you can catch the highlights from last night’s game on every TV in the place—which is what he really cares about. Order wings and talk sports before you bring on the ring.

423 W. 300 South, SLC, 801-532-9999
iggyssportsgrill.com

If her dad’s a big-time skier

Probably my favorite spot on the list—Alpine House at Canyons Resort somehow pulls off a casual feel but is also high-end. It’s a great place to grab a drink with him after work or even late when there’s live music. Small plates menu, but he will be impressed. Ask to go skiing with him sometime before you get to the real reason for the visit.

Canyons Resort Village, Sundial Building, North of the Cabriolet, 435-615-4828
canyonsresort.com

Posted: Sunday, February 5th, 2012 @ 7:12 pm
Categories: Engagements.
Tags: Alpine House, engaged, engaged man, father of the bride, gepetto's, iggy's, oasis cafe, proposal, proposing, Salt Lake City.